My parents always taught me to question and analyse things on my own. But when I started my Inter at a renowned college in Lahore, I realised that students are not allowed to think beyond what is taught to them in the textbooks. The first shocking moment that I encountered was when during an Urdu class, a male professor went on a misogynistic rant about how women these days were becoming 'westernized' and wanting to make their own decisions by watching Bollywood and Hollywood movies.
"Girls should never be given the permission to choose their husbands. Their parents should make this decision for their daughters and the daughters should accept it submissively", he told us during a lecture. That was not all, he went on to justify 'honour' killing and said that when women are killed for running away to get married, it is completely justified because bringing dishonour is an unforgivable crime. I did not speak up because no one in my class thought it was a good idea to refute what a teacher is saying. So I stopped myself from calling him out.
This continued for a few months and the said teacher would often say such problematic things without being questioned by any student. But one day I had had enough of this nonsense. During a lecture, he was saying that women should be fearful at all times because a fearful woman will never transgress on the wrong path and her character will remain 'clean'. "Aurat ko darrpok he hona chahiye. Darpok aurat kabhi bhi bad-kirdaar nahi ho sakti", he said. It was then that I decided to confront him. I raised my hand, stood up and said to him, "You shouldn't demean women like this, sir." He was taken aback by this, because he had clearly not seen it coming. But I stood my ground. When he asked me how it was offensive, I said: "women should be fearless and courageous so that they can do as they please without caring what the society or people like you think of them." He went silent for a moment and then said, "First of all, you can't talk to me like this.
Second, it is women like you who end up bringing a bad name to their families. God created you as a weak being, and a woman is meant to be submissive not fearless." We argued like this for good 20 minutes and the lecture was discontinued. In the end, he did not let me complete my argument and said I am misbehaving with him, when in fact I was polite and respectful during the whole exchange.
The next day, he asked me to come see him in the office. When I went there, he said he wanted me to apologise to him in front of the whole class. When I refused, he threatened to take me to the principal. I did not want to get into that trouble, so I agreed to apologise to him. The next day I did so in front of the whole class, and he said he had 'forgiven' me because I am immature and will understand these things with time.
But he had developed a serious grudge against me after this. He failed me in three consecutive quizzes even when I had given my best in these tests. My academic result was becoming a mess. It was time for mid-term exams and my grades in the subject were already too poor. I needed to pass the exam to be able to continue that course.
I knew that he would give me an F grade in the exam as well. Worried, I came to my class-fellows and asked them to help me find a way out. One of my friends gave me a startling suggestion: She said that if I flirted with the teacher, he would do as I say. It turned out that he had been giving grades on basis of how close a girl was to him. The exams were in a few weeks and I had no option but to try this new way of getting a better result. I was under pressure because my parents were reprimanding me for failing the tests.
So one day I went to his office and flirted with him to see his response. I did this because I saw no other options. No matter how good I performed in tests, he would give me bad grades. I made a comment on his appearance and said how handsome he looked. He started blushing and asked me to come closer, which I did. When I came towards his chair, he stood up and intimidatingly came closer to me and said, "I never realised you were so beautiful. I forget whatever you said to me. From now on, I am your slave." I had never felt this uncomfortable before, but I tolerated it because I wanted good grades. This flirtatious exchange became routine and it happened almost every day.
After the result for final exams was declared, I got an A in his subject. My parents were happy but also surprised that how come I managed to get such good grades even though I failed all my recent tests in the course. I was not courageous enough to tell them the story.
How I finally confronted the pervert teacher is another story, which I would share in the next part of this article.
"Girls should never be given the permission to choose their husbands. Their parents should make this decision for their daughters and the daughters should accept it submissively", he told us during a lecture. That was not all, he went on to justify 'honour' killing and said that when women are killed for running away to get married, it is completely justified because bringing dishonour is an unforgivable crime. I did not speak up because no one in my class thought it was a good idea to refute what a teacher is saying. So I stopped myself from calling him out.
This continued for a few months and the said teacher would often say such problematic things without being questioned by any student. But one day I had had enough of this nonsense. During a lecture, he was saying that women should be fearful at all times because a fearful woman will never transgress on the wrong path and her character will remain 'clean'. "Aurat ko darrpok he hona chahiye. Darpok aurat kabhi bhi bad-kirdaar nahi ho sakti", he said. It was then that I decided to confront him. I raised my hand, stood up and said to him, "You shouldn't demean women like this, sir." He was taken aback by this, because he had clearly not seen it coming. But I stood my ground. When he asked me how it was offensive, I said: "women should be fearless and courageous so that they can do as they please without caring what the society or people like you think of them." He went silent for a moment and then said, "First of all, you can't talk to me like this.
Second, it is women like you who end up bringing a bad name to their families. God created you as a weak being, and a woman is meant to be submissive not fearless." We argued like this for good 20 minutes and the lecture was discontinued. In the end, he did not let me complete my argument and said I am misbehaving with him, when in fact I was polite and respectful during the whole exchange.
The next day, he asked me to come see him in the office. When I went there, he said he wanted me to apologise to him in front of the whole class. When I refused, he threatened to take me to the principal. I did not want to get into that trouble, so I agreed to apologise to him. The next day I did so in front of the whole class, and he said he had 'forgiven' me because I am immature and will understand these things with time.
But he had developed a serious grudge against me after this. He failed me in three consecutive quizzes even when I had given my best in these tests. My academic result was becoming a mess. It was time for mid-term exams and my grades in the subject were already too poor. I needed to pass the exam to be able to continue that course.
I knew that he would give me an F grade in the exam as well. Worried, I came to my class-fellows and asked them to help me find a way out. One of my friends gave me a startling suggestion: She said that if I flirted with the teacher, he would do as I say. It turned out that he had been giving grades on basis of how close a girl was to him. The exams were in a few weeks and I had no option but to try this new way of getting a better result. I was under pressure because my parents were reprimanding me for failing the tests.
So one day I went to his office and flirted with him to see his response. I did this because I saw no other options. No matter how good I performed in tests, he would give me bad grades. I made a comment on his appearance and said how handsome he looked. He started blushing and asked me to come closer, which I did. When I came towards his chair, he stood up and intimidatingly came closer to me and said, "I never realised you were so beautiful. I forget whatever you said to me. From now on, I am your slave." I had never felt this uncomfortable before, but I tolerated it because I wanted good grades. This flirtatious exchange became routine and it happened almost every day.
After the result for final exams was declared, I got an A in his subject. My parents were happy but also surprised that how come I managed to get such good grades even though I failed all my recent tests in the course. I was not courageous enough to tell them the story.
How I finally confronted the pervert teacher is another story, which I would share in the next part of this article.