Election Tamasha - All acts in one show

Election Tamasha - All acts in one show
By Hamza Arshad

Each Achilles with his vulnerable heel, each bowman with stretched strings, and each gladiator with shining blade are holding their horses in the outskirts of political Troy, waiting for horns to be blown. In the meantime, Trojan Horses are seeking a chance to sneak in. Our Panipat is smoothly staged for another combat. Sides are taken and cannons are charged. Salvo is at full blast. A millstone round one’s neck is easy to bear in comparison.

The most crucial elections, like the previous ones

Upcoming elections can make or break us, we are repeatedly told. Fate of the country, somehow, has allegedly tied itself to them. Admittedly, as the saying goes, these elections are the most crucial ones. But the same thing has been said about all the elections we have managed to hold so far. Probably we hate normally held general elections. Our political palate refuses to savour unless election season ushers in a blazing trail, notwithstanding the fact that some of them end up in court trials. But then courts are courts; they have also something to savour. Each one is endowed with its own peculiar palate, calling for its satisfaction. So our theme park is winning the crowd.

The Mysterious May drums in, stirring political mercury to rise to red, with blowing winds and falling raw fruit, picked by the sly jump-boys. “Season of mists and mellow” is yet to come. Big and small cities and towns are witnessing massive gatherings. Political taverns are swelling with familiar travellers headed towards diverse directions. ‘Casting and Gathering’ is a national activity, and so is the unwavering stand on principles and tall claims of loyalty. Both sound windy business.

The principles in flux

Picture courtesy Dawn

Wise politicians are changing parties ‘on principles’. Others are changing principles for parties. Each one, in time of need, is a precious commodity and is duly paid. But some sober minds are not part of this ‘tamasha’; they are straight as the crow flies. Always committed – and always compensated for the same.

The MMA is back. And don’t take Siraj ul-Haq non-seriously

File Photo

Moulana Fazl ur-Rehman loathes change. He is right. In the age of dearness, when rupee is taking a plunge, even children don’t accept change. They demand big banknotes. Nonetheless, it is the season of massive transformation. Siraj ul-Haq of JI sees golden revolution knocking at the horizons, just waiting for elders of JI to get ready to shoulder the national responsibility. But it does not mean Siraj ul-Haq shouldn’t be taken seriously.

The poor media houses, and the extraterrestrials

Media houses are dicing with their luck. Ruling party is under the cloud. Media houses know that going against the wind earns big flyer, but game is a bit risky especially when the alleged cloud is pressed down by some allusive ‘ET’.

Picture courtesy Youtube

The involvement of the supernatural in political arena is not tantamount to seeing a black swan; but it is the first time we hear the terminology: Extra-Terrestrial. Nawaz Sharif roars in hoarse sound that they are going to take on the ET. Bilawal Bhutto, being content with its literal meanings, advises Mian sb to take a rocket, perhaps from the next bus stop as he means to say, and fly into the deep space to have a contest. Perhaps this duel fight may allow Bilawal and his pious dad to rule the country with august patronage of Addi, the Sister.

Khadim Rizvi will be back, with a vengeance

Screengrab from viYouTube

These days, Khadim Hussain Rizvi is having sanctified seclusion. He will come out just a week before the elections with news crafted abuses, especially worded for the occasion. Nation, especially social media users, is all ears for the new fit of merriment. His earlier innovation already calls for Oscar, if there is any in this genre.

PTI – the only serious contender. And it’s high time anyway

Picture courtesy Dawn

In this political circus, only PTI is serious to bag a must win. It has done full preparation to smoothen its path to Islamabad, singlehanded, without any coalition, with sole trust in ‘personal moves’, one of them, as rivals say, happens to be the matrimony. To be fair enough, this time PTI is geared up to hold the office, as Imran Khan is 65, and the age factor calls for his must win. He can’t wait for a delay of another five years. ‘Political sensitivities’ must be taken into consideration.

A queer blend of Martin Luther King and Mazhar Shah

Screengrab from Samaa TV

In the election tamasha, Sheikh Rashid is having frequent field days, especially in the borrowed jalsas where he shows himself a queer blend of Martin Luther king and Mazhar Shah. In the meantime, Chaudhary Shujaat Hussain is working on his next book: Ten Ways to Attain Political Maturity. And so the Election Tamasha goes on. Can Nawaz Sharif fight with this ET? All work and no play has already made Jack a dull boy.

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