Trigger warning: this content includes debilitating thoughts on suicide, suicide ideation and depression
As a young adult, in this economy, I have been struggling with hopelessness and anxiety, like many others, because of being locked down under the pandemic. A few days ago, I started having thoughts that would lead to suicide ideation and as much as I’ve been alarmed, I also realized that many people on the internet have been feeling the same. I had tweeted about the disruptive suicidal thoughts and why would someone refrain from doing it? It was restricted to people who have already gone through this or were experiencing now for the first time in their life.
Over a 100 people replied to my tweet, almost all interactions were from Pakistan and there were over 2000 engagements. Based on those interactions I formed a data set of the most common variables. I was able to summarize the interactions on 5 variables:
'Would make mother upset' was a simple variable formed from the responses where the people were simply alive because they didn't want to cause pain to their parents and siblings. It had the most responses.
'Hope' was the second most answered response. A majority of the people believed that things would get better and every day they kept going on with even a flicker of hope.
'Religion' was for the people who outright denied any inclination towards self-harm because it is highly looked down upon and is forbidden in Islam. It was the third most common response.
'Cowardice' represented the people who were still struggling with the same thoughts, but stated that they lacked courage to take the final step. It formed 12% of the total responses. The least answered response was 'Failed Attempts' based some of the people said they were too embarrassed to make a failed attempt.
I have struggled with similar thoughts three years ago and my reasons were the same as everyone else's. I too, kept going because I had hope that someday I'd be able to crawl out of this hole that life has dug up for me. So, I kept moving forward, one day at a time and those thoughts have subsided. If someone had asked me the same question years ago, my answer would have been 'hope'.
I am grateful for all the people who responded and opened up. This isn't an easy topic to talk about, but I assure you that you are not alone in this struggle. Reach out and talk to the ones you love. Seek help. One of these days, you will make it to the other side.
As a young adult, in this economy, I have been struggling with hopelessness and anxiety, like many others, because of being locked down under the pandemic. A few days ago, I started having thoughts that would lead to suicide ideation and as much as I’ve been alarmed, I also realized that many people on the internet have been feeling the same. I had tweeted about the disruptive suicidal thoughts and why would someone refrain from doing it? It was restricted to people who have already gone through this or were experiencing now for the first time in their life.
Over a 100 people replied to my tweet, almost all interactions were from Pakistan and there were over 2000 engagements. Based on those interactions I formed a data set of the most common variables. I was able to summarize the interactions on 5 variables:
- Would make mother upset (30.7%)
- Hope (25.3%)
- Religion (21.3%)
- Cowardice (12%)
- Failed attempt (10.7%)
'Would make mother upset' was a simple variable formed from the responses where the people were simply alive because they didn't want to cause pain to their parents and siblings. It had the most responses.
'Hope' was the second most answered response. A majority of the people believed that things would get better and every day they kept going on with even a flicker of hope.
'Religion' was for the people who outright denied any inclination towards self-harm because it is highly looked down upon and is forbidden in Islam. It was the third most common response.
'Cowardice' represented the people who were still struggling with the same thoughts, but stated that they lacked courage to take the final step. It formed 12% of the total responses. The least answered response was 'Failed Attempts' based some of the people said they were too embarrassed to make a failed attempt.
I have struggled with similar thoughts three years ago and my reasons were the same as everyone else's. I too, kept going because I had hope that someday I'd be able to crawl out of this hole that life has dug up for me. So, I kept moving forward, one day at a time and those thoughts have subsided. If someone had asked me the same question years ago, my answer would have been 'hope'.
I am grateful for all the people who responded and opened up. This isn't an easy topic to talk about, but I assure you that you are not alone in this struggle. Reach out and talk to the ones you love. Seek help. One of these days, you will make it to the other side.