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Epiphany of Life: How To Derive Happiness From Within

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Saubia Kanwal, in this piece, talks about our willingness to derive happiness from within. Centering yourself and finding positivity around you, and committing to happy thoughts only. She also emphasizes the need to travel and find companions that will hold you through the bad days in life. 

I think it is imperative that a person knows how to deal with demons inside their head and come out as a hero, is a way of boosting one’s own morale. Just like happiness, I reckon beauty is a state of mind too. If you can’t persuade yourself that you are beautiful – then I guess no one else can. No matter how much you adorn yourself with worldly riches, if the voice inside your head doesn’t tell you how alluring it is making you, then I believe it’s all in vain.

Physical charm and bodily embellishments aren’t even mandatory if your soul feels engaging and is proud of you as a person. Even if it’s not as complex as self-conscience, I suppose feeling beautiful is something one can triumph on a very rudimentary level – such as you waking up to a startling dream. A dream that felt so real like you lived it. You had a stunning start of the day because you felt energetic, motivated, keen to get the things finished, that you left pending last night as you felt lethargic and un-tempted. Somebody on the street praises you for bestowing a trivial favor, despite not knowing that somebody, you felt happy – you felt beautiful for knowing you were the reason for the brief smile in someone else’s life.

A random stranger flaunts a smile as you tread in hustle, going about your usual errands, for an instance out of your chaotic routine you felt gorgeous: perhaps the nature wanted to give you a thumbs-up for working hard. After a wearying day, you open the door of your forlorn house when your pet wags its tail at your arrival, rubs itself against your leg in a welcoming gesture and an instant happiness gushes your body – you feel alive, you feel extremely scenic and wanted. Your baby’s first word is your name, when he starts crawling you are the person he seeks and when he accomplishes his goal, he opens his little arms to give you an embrace – you feel beautiful, you feel complete.

A junior at school professes after many years that you were the first crush of his life. He was too timid to tell because you were too inimitable. You feel exquisite.

At the cash counter of your favorite clothing store, the cashier punches in the discount you didn’t know you qualified for. You feel overwhelmed as you were already psyched about the meager cash in your pocket – you feel ecstatic.

I don’t understand how people get suicidal.

There is an inner soul-mate inside each person who tends to be the best friend in times of dire desperation – a friend that convince how to cheer up and pull one’s self out of misery each time something depressing comes up. Life happens in innumerable small moments, often we don’t realize it’s these petty moments that we overlook, can comprise a whole lifetime if we ponder – because life doesn’t happen to us, it happens for us.

We frequently forget things if we have no one to tell them to, choosing to fear instead of love, that turns us against our playful hearts. When I feel disdained or snubbed by the wise people of the world, moments when I don’t quite feel like a part of this pompous drama, me and my friend – we take a timeout. It’s vital to have a voice in my head that tells me where I stand in all the idiocy around me.

He appears when I least expect him – in a swarming subway queue at the end of a forlorn day a sweet unknown scent, vaunts by or a neatly wrapped gift with no note on the table as you wake up. An envelope sealed with your name on it or a jovial glance of a stranger on a windy day on an empty street that you avoid taking.

A random compliment of a surfing customer at a supermarket or an amiable thrust at your arm by a person you admire. He reflects in things I adore and makes me come back to life without fail. Sometimes in the middle of the night when I am sleep deprived, he is the bright star in the sky I gaze for long and converse seamlessly.

I feel it’s better to say why not, instead of probing yourself why. I believe it’s imperative to give your own self a challenge and see how unpredictable you can get. Sometimes, a wrong train can take you to the right destination only if you believe in destiny.

To attain progress, one has to step out of his comfort zone and strive for it. It’s completely human and acceptable to make mistakes – never feel ashamed of making faulty decisions. It only means that you are moving ahead in life and doing something.

I don’t understand how people get morbid.

I have a friend that stays with me when I am sappy and tells me to cry my heart out because he knows once my heart is done fretting, he will reassure me of my innate supremacy.

When I look into the mirror and tell myself I look ugly in my favorite pair of jeans, he will rekindle my poise and persuade me to find the next best thing about me. He is the one who hails my victories as well as my failures. I don’t understand how people turn gloomy. My friend and I talk for hours. He is the one who puts me to sleep and wakes me up to a world of new promises.

Even as I tread aimlessly on streets, he is the one who tempts that things happen for a reason. Eat whatever makes you happy – pray or meditate to any divine reality you believe in. With your fist open or clenched, it’s your faith that obliges the Supreme power you are calling. Travel to your heart’s content – meet new people, make new friends. Talk to new faces, exchange ideas – you will learn something new each time. Your best friend was once a stranger as well.

Don’t be petrified to initiate a dialogue. Love another with all your heart – find a companion in life, you will be delighted by the marvels that accompanies. A karma that operates on the phenomenon of cause & effect. Life is captured in the fond memories that one creates – it will never turn into nothingness, but its beauty will continue to grow as they are reminisced from time to time.

In a world full of hoax and deceptions I know I have a custodian that resides nowhere but inside myself. For better or for worse I have a guide that is my unpretentious devotee. I am no one special. A mere mortal with conventional dreams and a meek lifestyle. I believe in living an earnest life – I believe in working selflessly and earning money that is enough to keep me alive. Having a serene sleep, food on my plate that I am grateful for, few good fragrances, some favorite sonnets that uplifts my spirit in alone times and brings solace to my solitude.

Divine music that rhythms my nerves, fond memories of trivial journeys and a family to come home to. In a wrestle of acquiring all of it – which is called life I reckon; I often find questioning myself ‘why’.

In the precipice of heart wrenching disappointments and failures – twist of fate or reality checks as some may call it, I still seek a mate in other people. For this is the circle of life. A maze that evidently brings me back again to my friend, my faith, my prayer, my divine trust. A hope that rekindles my belief in my potential and that everything is going to be alright, because till it’s not over, it’s not the end.

I always trusted I have come this far for a reason. People I meet and places I have been to no matter how random, were destined for me. I like to tread faltering paths and getting lost then finding my way back again. There is an enormous sense of attainment that keeps me thriving and I call it nature’s way of reminding me “destiny is near”.

Reason why I like to revisit my failures is actually the poison I inject to cure my ailments. I like to reiterate myself of the mortifications I faced – to confront myself for an improved tomorrow. The deprivations and mistakes of the past somehow serve as an antidote for the scars of today. I find bliss in knowing I no longer succumb to my tears. There is a vanity in knowing that I have overpowered the old me and the person I am, much more keen now, to accept the dares that the tomorrow brings.

For I have with me, is my friend at all times and I know it will perish with me.

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