Women Who Seek Sexual Pleasure Are Not ‘Vulgar’
Our society does not accept a woman with sexual desires. Sexual pleasure in marriage or otherwise is important, because it can break your marriage or sex life apart, but it is considered a taboo for women – as are many other things. A woman cannot publicly express what is it that she finds pleasure in. In Pakistan, women are shunned from having any kind of opinion let alone explaining what they want from their partner in bed.
A man, however, has the complete liberty to not only express what he wants but also consider it his right to look for sexual pleasure and go to any extent to get what he desires. But the society does not allow women the freedom to talk about their sexual needs and any woman who dares to talk about the subject is declared ‘vulgar’ or ‘spoiled’ and her character is immediately called into question.
News flash: women have sexual desires too. Just because they don’t express themselves due to societal norms that hold them back does not mean they don’t feel the urge to have sex the way they want.
I know a woman (a close friend of mine) who was bored with her sex life and mostly the sexual activity with his partner would not arouse her. But for many years, she kept it hidden and did not discuss it with anyone. Finally one day she opened up to me after I asked her about her married life and how things were with her partner.
When she spoke to me, it was the first time any woman had ever discussed such complexities of their sex life with me. And this had me thinking: A lot of career women who work most part of the day must be facing the same problem: losing interest in sex and not being able to fully enjoy it. And I wondered what the reason for this seemingly psychological issue could be.
I looked it up online and found an interesting piece of research done by a European group on the subject. The study revealed that women who use hormonal contraceptives are at a high risk of facing sexual dysfunction later in their lives. It also says that anti-depressants may also result in women losing interest in sexual activties or not getting easily aroused by sex. So my advice to women is to ditch all these birth-control pills and not be ashamed of what you want.
Women need to break free to express themselves sexually. Let this patriarchal society be damned. Start embracing your womanhood with pride and go after what you need – be shameless in pursuit.
And those who judge women for wanting to have sex or expressing their sexual pleasure must understand that it’s 2020 – women can no longer be pushed in submission and silence. Stop shaming women for having the urge to have sex!