I Dated A Married Man From Tinder And Learned An Unforgettable Lesson
I was introduced to the world of Tinder some two years ago and I started using it under peer pressure. I had just broken up with my longtime boyfriend and my friends wanted me to get over the emotional trauma and hook up with somebody. One of my friends told me about the dating app Tinder in which you can ‘match’ with your like-minded people and go out with them and enter into a relationship. At first I was unconvinced but after their pressure I created an account on Tinder. My friend helped me understand it and within no time I got used to it, and would spend hours chatting with people.
One day I matched with a 35-year-old man who happened to live a few blocks away from my house. I hung out with him once and we both thought we were compatible to each other.
So after a few meetings we entered into a relationship. I was 25 at the time so there was a significant age difference between us, but we got along despite that. I told him almost everything about my past and also the fact that the only reason I am hooking up with him is that I want to get over my unpleasant experience with my ex. He told me he was on Tinder because he had not yet found the love of his life and was trying to meet new people and see where it goes.
We had a level of understanding and as time passed, I felt myself emotionally attached to him. His habit of constantly checking on me even when we were apart attracted me.
In a few months time, I fell head over heels in love with him. I had never been able to express my love, but he would often say that he loved me. I thought it was time for me to express my feelings so he knows we both can convert this relationship into a marriage.
I was just trying to find an appropriate time to let him know that I feel the same about him, but then something horrible happened. I called him one morning but could not get through. His phone was unreachable and he was not getting my text messages either. I got worried so decided to go to his house to find out where he was. When I got inside his house, I saw a woman yelling at him. I asked him who she was, to which the woman replied that she is his wife. I was in a state of disbelief. “What is going on here”, I asked him. He confirmed that this was his wife I was talking to. He then asked me to leave and that he would talk to me later. I left with tears in my eyes. He had lied to me. He was married with two kids.
When I later confronted him, he said he was just ‘having fun’ when his wife was abroad for six months. He proceeded to justify his action and said when a man is alone, he has all the right to be with someone ‘temporarily’ to fulfill his sexual needs. And finally he admitted that there was no ‘love’ involved, he was just spending time with me until his wife was away.
Even after saying all that, he had the audacity to ask me to remain friends with him.
This was my first and last experience dating a Tinder man. I deleted my account and promised myself never to use the app again. And it taught me a lesson I won’t forget: Never trust a Pakistani man.
The writer is an activist and animal lover.