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The Curious Case of TLP Geniasses, the Government and Asia Bibi

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After spending nearly 9 years in jail, Asia Bibi was finally acquitted by the Supreme Court. Conspiracy spinners and people who generally like to inflict pain on others keep insisting that it was in fact pressure from the West that led to this. I am sure these people spend half their day reading just Tabloid headlines on Facebook. And they probably think that every whatsapp message sent to them is 105% accurate. Eg “A medical doctor from Neverland said cockroach powder cures diabetes!” Of course, it’s true! I have been stomping on roaches for 3 days!

Anyhow, to correct those moronic imbeciles, I mean well-read scholars, the proper course of law was followed. It was her final appeal. “Appeals function both as a process for error correction as well as a process of clarifying and interpreting law.”


Also read: TLP, govt agree on putting Asia Bibi on ECL. But hasn’t she already left for Canada?


She was acquitted by 3 judges of the Supreme Court, the highest judicial court in a country, because the witnesses’ as well as the religious leader’s accounts were dodgy and contradictory. Mafia Bibi’s (one of the witnesses – actual name – no joke) account did not match her sister’s. They lied. The religious leader on the other hand claimed she had willingly admitted in front of a 1000 people that “Yo, dudes.. I did this blasphemy thing! I knowZ you guys are cool, Ciao now!” Yeah, as if there would be anyone as stupid as that. The reality is that she and her family were brutally beaten by the religious leader and numerous other villagers.


Click to read full Supreme Court verdict on Asia Bibi case


That is the truth.

So, these geniasses also question, how was it that the lower court convicted her of blasphemy? Huh?! HUH?! ANSWER THAT!

Seriously, they got me! I am stumped!

But then I think about all the lawyers who were on the roads breaking things, acting like hooligans and thugs for the murderer Mumtaz Qadri. They showered him with roses and there were more lawyers on his legal team than police protecting the court. Lawyers going yay to murder? Isn’t that against the “law”?

But what do I know, right?

Fast forward to today. Asia Bibi was acquitted and probably in most other countries, she would have walked out a free woman breathing fresh air. Alas, in Pakistan she couldn’t due to these group of people belonging to TLP. They call themselves Ashiq-e Rasool, led by foul-mouthed-sister-cursing Khadim Rizvi. They insisted that because they said she is guilty of blasphemy, then she has to be because their ‘inner darinda gutt’ feeling is more accurate than the Supreme Court. Let’s just ignore common sense that none of them were actually there 10 years ago. In fact TLP did not even exist back then!

These particular Ashiq-e-Rasools by the way, like to prove their love by breaking and burning things, threatening everyone, holding the country hostage, cursing, stealing fruit from little kids, burning bakeries, raiding mithai shops, swinging swords out in public, shutting down schools, offices and cellular networks etc. And for some reason, they all look like they haven’t showered in at least 3 months. I guess they skipped the chapters regarding cleanliness and the actual “Deen-e-Rasool.”

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Regarding their ability to comprehend things, well these are the same people who once threw their slippers up in the air at helicopters only to have them fall back on their faces. So, they are not too bright, even though they insist they are. In fact, if you call them extremists, they look at you shocked. “Me, an extremist?” Hand on heart, mouth open, “You hurted my feelings!”

Soon after, Prime Minister Imran Khan came on TV giving a very clear message that the country will tackle and take action against violent aggressors. They will not be tolerated. Even the pro PML-N people high fived and went “WAAAH” after this short and sweet speech. Some even said, “heck, you know what, I am voting for him next time.”

In the previous Faizabad dharna by the same TLP people, after 3 long weeks their goons had been finally arrested! But then they were freed and given Rs. 1000 so they could get home safely.

That was not going to happen this time, that’s for sure! No way! Not after that amazing speech.

Day 3.

Well, oops.

An agreement nothing less than a death warrant for Asia Bibi, with specific conditions was signed by Noor ul Haq Qadri, the religious affairs Minister and Raja Basharat, Punjab’s Law Minister on behalf of the government and ‘heroes’ Pir Afzal Qadri and Muhamad Waheen Noor on behalf of TLP.

-The government agreed to not oppose a review petition filed against the Supreme Court’s judgment in Asia Bibi’s case.

-Her name would be placed on ECL
-Investigation in murders would be taken place of all those martyred (meaning only TLP) in protests against Asia Bibi verdict
-All those arrested in protests would be released
– And lastly, TLP is sorry for anyone inadvertently hurt in the protests.

So TLP said sorry for anyone hurt in the protests? And I guess, we the people, and the country were expected to say, “Awww man. It’s all good!  No worries.”

Is an apology enough for the family of the pregnant woman who could not get to the hospital and died as well as her just born baby because these goons would not let her pass? Or the 32-year-old who was shot dead? The child whose fruit cart was attacked?

The people whose motorbikes and shops were burnt?

The businesses that underwent huge losses?

Is a mere apology enough?

Kids missed school as well. The Prophet (PBUH) said “Seeking knowledge is obligatory upon every Muslim” and here they are, making sure that kids can’t go to school because they are hell bent on wanting an innocent woman executed.

Ok, let’s forget the TLP. Will the government compensate these people because clearly an apology is not enough! And no, Rs.1000 each won’t suffice.

But then again, Pir Afzal Qadri just a few days ago had issued a fatwa that the three Judges who had acquitted Asia bibi were Wajib-ul-Qatal. He asked cooks, drivers etc to kill them just like Mumtaz Qadri had murdered Salman Taseer, the man he was being paid to protect. Pir Afzal also asked for a mutiny within in the army and demanded that the present government be thrown out.

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I guess I am wrong, for the government a sorry does cover everything then. “Oops, sorry, I incited violence in the country and committed Treason.”

The present standing right now, is that even Asia Bibi’s lawyer, who was being threatened, has had to leave the country. Any country would be lucky to have such a brave courageous lawyer. We of course have lost him due to the terrorists and extremists.

Asia bibi is still in jail, even though there are wild rumors everywhere that she has left. That seems unlikely as her husband just spoke to DW on Saturday that he fears for his wife’s life and she need to leave the country as well.

Khadim Rizvi who can’t utter a coherent sentence without cursing sisters, has made it clear that no matter what happens, they will not budge on this issue. Asia Bibi will not be allowed to the leave the country, she must die.

I wonder what the PM thinks about this. Oh wait, he is in China. Never Mind.

Going back to conspiracy geniasses, there are some who argue this agreement was a good thing because “These protests were projecting a very negative image of the country to the rest of the world.” Yeah.. so giving in to terrorists, still keeping an innocent woman jailed away from her family, letting the country burn, makes us look good then?

This agreement is not a victory. This is not a peaceful solution. What if the court does not reverse the acquittal? What if Asia Bibi has been/is sent out of the country in secret and TLP demands to see her? What if they just decide to go on the streets burning stuff for a new reason? Then? How many times will we give in to them? How many times will we appease and give power to extremists and terrorists? Nobody is asking for bloodshed. But the sane people demand a stern stance and arrests of extremists threatening us and the country.

I end this rant with one new update and it is that Khadim Rizvi has hired an educated Oompa Loompa to handle his twitter handle. He also acts as a translator for him, because Rizvi himself does not understand a word that he writes.

The review petition against the Supreme Court verdict will be heard on Monday. It has been forced by literally putting a gun on the country and is not constitutional.

I do not know what will happen, but I hope that Asia Bibi lives as a free woman. Her life is worth more than all extremists/terrorists in the country put together.

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